Helping Yourself Through Life’s Ups and Downs and Towards Your Dreams…

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Having a healthy sense of self-esteem is much like building and maintaining your personal physical fitness.

It is not something you do once and it is fixed for the rest of your life.

But  through life’s ups and downs and on the winding path towards your own small, big and awesome dreams and goals.

Because that is what a healthy sense of self-esteem is about.

That you feel and think that you are worthy of good things, happiness and love. In your relationships and socially, at work or in school, with your health, finances and other important things in life.

It’s about you feeling good about yourself even when you encounter criticism, failure or if your work is not done in a perfect manner or if you are not achieving things all the time.

It’s about being good to yourself just like you would be good to your best friend.

• Stay strong and resilient even through the tough days and rough times we all face from time to time.
• Handle the criticism and negativity people lash out at you in a a more understanding and levelheaded way.
• Stop dragging yourself down by comparing yourself and your life to other people and their lives.
• Replace perfectionism with healthier and happier habits that will help you to get more done with less stress and anxiety.
• Deep down feel like you truly trust yourself to be able to handle life and making the important decisions.
• Uncover and reclaim your inner core of unchanging self-esteem.
• Discover your factual strengths and weaknesses and a more balanced and nuanced perspective towards yourself and your world.
• Talk back to your own inner critic, stop it before it can damage you and your life even more and then replace it with healthier habits.
• Handle mistakes and failure in a way that preserves your self-esteem levels and allows you to learn from what happened.
• Cultivate more compassion and understanding for yourself and for other people.
• Finally lay off and overcome your own most self-critical and most self-esteem damaging thought habits about how you look, think and how you want to live your life.
• Find your most important dreams and set up goals and effective strategies that will help you reach those dreams and fulfill your untapped inner potential.
• Stay on course while you work towards what you want and to not self-sabotage when you get it.
• Truly feel deserving of having and getting more good and great things in your life.
• Simply stop feeling lousy or negatively about yourself and start feeling good about yourself and happier on the inside.
• Let go of how you think you should be and embrace who you deep down are.

GETTING CLEAR ON WHAT YOU WANT. HOW ONE SIMPLE IDEA TOOK ME FROM CONFUSION TO CLARITY.

Determine your goal, create a plan and pursue it with commitment and passion. That’s the key to success or at least that’s what they all say. Sounds simple right?

Well, the problem is for some of us it just isn’t that straightforward. Whether in our personal or professional lives sometimes that great vision or goal just isn’t that clear. How can we start creating our dream lives when we can’t even decide what it is we want?

The problem is in the absence of a clear vision we will probably wander aimlessly through life. It isn’t that we won’t accomplish exciting things, go to interesting places or even meet fascinating people. The absence of vision doesn’t equal misery – at least I don’t think so. Still, I think that when we’re not an active participant in the design of our lives we run the risk of waking up one day like I did wondering:  ‘Is this really all there is?’

Lack of clarity, the feeling of confusion about what it is I want is something I’ve struggled with in the past. If I’m being totally honest it’s something I deal with even now. What’s worse than being energized and ready with nothing meaningful to go for?

But while reading about someone else’s struggle one idea really struck home. It seems really simple when I think about it now but at the time it just hadn’t occurred to me at least not in that way. As crazy as it sounds lack of clarity is self-inflicted. We are choosing to be confused. Let me explain.

CLARITY (OR CONFUSION) – IS A CHOICE.

This idea was probably the biggest revelation for me at the time because I used to think that my confusion was as a result of things happening around me or being done to me. As a result, I kept expecting something outside of myself to fix the problem. If I was patient enough then that magic solution would eventually show up. What I realized was that the solution had to come from the inside out. At some level I was creating the confusion, my lack of clarity was actually a choice I was making.

Now what’s funny is I know better. Intellectually, I know that it’s not the event but our interpretation of the event and what we do as a result that matters. Yet I didn’t associate that with those thoughts racing around my head. For some reason, it never occurred to me that the same rules applied. I soon discovered that the confusion was all a smokescreen. My mind was what was creating the problem.

If we assume (as I believe) for a moment that deep down we know exactly what we want, then the confusion is really a drama created by our minds that drown out that knowledge. It is as a result of conflicting thoughts and ideas running through our minds. The problem is we get caught up in each of these thoughts as if they warrant our attention. We invest time and energy into them. The result is a muddled mind.

Think of your confusion as a storm raging on the surface of the ocean. Looking down from above it seems wild and turbulent. However, dive beneath and it’s wonderfully calm. That calm is the clarity that was always there.

Once I understood that I was the one choosing to engage in the stories my mind was creating, I realized that I was also the one responsible for disengaging from them. Detach from the drama and immediately a different choice was possible. Deep down confusion was really fear of making the wrong choice.

Amazingly, once I made a different choice, chose a definite path, clarity followed. It didn’t even seem to matter what I had decided to do – my commitment to a course of action was what was needed.

THE TAKEAWAY FOR ME WAS THIS.

As real as the confusion seems while we’re going through it, it really is an illusion of the mind. An illusion comprising so many stories all competing for attention and space at the same time. These stories are just alternative perspectives and not necessarily reflective of reality. Once we take full responsibility for what’s going on in our heads we can start to discern our true voice from the noise in our heads.

We don’t wait for clarity, we choose it with the belief that we know exactly what we want. We make a decision and take action in line with that. The rest will naturally follow.

If you are ever in a situation where you feel utterly confused I encourage you to look beyond the muddle in your mind. Don’t let fear of making the wrong choice, which is essentially what the confusion is all about, keep you from making any choice. Don’t let the fear of committing to a course of action keep you in a muddle.

Choose clarity over confusion, decide on a path and trust that deep down you know exactly what you want.

success and our thoughts

Most self-help gurus have it wrong.

They tend to give generic advice that assumes we’re all the same. We aren’t, and we have decades of science to back this up. One of the keys to your happiness and success is in your knowledge of these differences.

How Susceptibility to Negative Emotions Affects Success

The truth is, we all differ when it comes to our personalities. Our personalities are molded by a combination of our genes and our unique life experiences. I refer to these as our Basic Personality Tendencies. Our proclivities toward acting, thinking, and feeling in certain ways.

Our Basic Tendencies

One of the most important Basic Personality Tendencies is what I term Susceptibility to Negative Emotions & Stress. This concept distinguishes between those of us who are more prone to worry, doubt, and feeling tense, irritable, stressed, anxious, and moody, with those who are calm, patient, content, and rarely affected by stress.

If you want to be successful, you need to determine whether you’re on the high or low side of the Negative Emotions equation.

 

How to Get Ready to Achieve Your Goal in a Week

Here at Getmotivation, we are always trying to share advice and ideas that you can use to get motivation and inspiration to achieve your goals. It goes without saying that every person has dreams and desires, but not everyone makes the effort to achieve them.

What is the problem? Why is it hard to live your dreams? In short, people are often not ready to take the first step.

You may not have thought about it, but you can get ready to achieve your goal in a week. This period is enough to carry out your plan and start a better life.

Here is a plan for one week that will help you get inspiration.

1. Monday. Write down your goals. There are many benefits of writing down your goals. No matter how many goals you have, you need to prioritize them. Choose the most important one for you and get ready to achieve it soon. Check out the importance of writing down your goals here.

2. Tuesday. Visualize your goal. It is a good idea to create a corner with things that motivate you to achieve your goal. For example, if you want to travel to Paris, you need to find beautiful pictures of this city, souvenirs, other travelers’ stories, etc. You need to see what you are working hard for.

3. Wednesday. Find support. One of the most important things you should do is finding people who share your thoughts, ideas, and desires. It can be hard to achieve your goal, so you need to have a person to speak with. Think of people in your life who can support you. Discuss your progress, listen to their feedback, and get the motivation to move further.

4. Thursday. Get inspiration. Meet people who have succeeded in achieving the same or similar goals to what you’re working towards. As a general rule, it is enough to find two or three persons who motivate you. Learn from them, and model what works for them as best you can in your own life.

If you want to find inspiration, you should do the following:

– read successful stories;
– find proofs;
– subscribe to their social networks;
– follow their experience.

5. Friday. Buy a notebook. You can use your notebook to write down steps for achieving your goal as well as completed points. Be picky about this notebook, as it needs to motivate you. Write down your progress so you can see your results. Bend over backwards not to miss your small achievements, as you need to know them from A to Z. Being able to look back on your progress along your journey can be a great motivator.

6. Saturday. Relax. What is the best way for you to relax? Do what you like, and stop thinking about your goals. Make it natural, and don’t be too concentrated on what is still left to do. Spend Saturday relaxing.

Here are several ways to relax:

– read a book;
– meet friends;
– visit museums or cinemas;
– exercise;
– travel to another city.

7. Sunday. Start thinking positive. Let’s call a spade a spade: it is important to believe in yourself, try to change your expectations, actions, and reactions. From now on, you need to stay happy and positive, as you can’t give up.

Time Zone

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​New York is 3 hours ahead of California but it does not mean that California is slow, or that New York is fast. Both are  working based on their own “Time Zone.”
Some one is still single. Someone got married and ‘waited’ 10 years before having a child. There is another who had a baby within a year of marriage.
Someone graduated at the age of 22, yet waited 5 years before securing a good job; and there is another who graduated at 27 and secured employment immediately !
Someone became CEO at 25 and died at 50 while another became a CEO at 50 and lived to 90 years. 

Everyone works based on their ‘Time Zone’,
People can have things worked out only according to their pace.

Work in your “time zone”.
Your Colleagues, friends, younger ones might “seem” to go ahead of you.

May be some might “seem” behind you.
Everyone is in this world running their own race on their own lane in their own time.Time is the difference. Obama retires at 55, Trump resumes at 70
Don’t envy them or mock them, it’s their ‘Time Zone.’ 

You are in yours!
Hold on, be strong, and stay true to yourself. All things shall work together for your good. 
You’re not late … You are not early … you’re very much On time stay blessed.

You Are In Your Time Zone…Good day

OPTIMIST

An optimist is a person who looks on the brighter side of things, or takes confident perspectives about existence situations. Being an optimist you trust and anticipate plans and life events to turn out well, and you anticipate the future with a grin.

Being an optimist does not mean that you ought to be out of touch with reality, disregarding complexities and obstacles in life and behaving in an irrational manner. Also, it does not mean waiting for things to happen automatically. It means expecting the best, accepting that the best will happen to you; but at the same time making choices to make it happen, taking after your choices, acting appropriately in realizing them.

On the other hand the pessimist will see the worst in something. They will then take all the responsibility personally. They will then feel bad not just for what they have done, but for who they are, and think nothing is right. They will then think nothing will ever be right. At this point they will stop trying to change things and just concentrate on surviving.

In the worst case scenario they will abandon surviving. What’s most difficult to take from pessimists is their judgment of others. This is the main way they can like themselves. With so much self-loathing, it’s no big surprise that they have so little trust in themselves or any regard toward oneself. Therefore it is better to be optimist than pessimist because:

• Optimists get something right and praise themselves

An optimist will always get something right and when they get it right again they will continue telling themselves how well they did. At the point when things happen they will see it as a basic set-back. On the off chance that things continue to happen they will put it down to circumstance and take a gander at a way of changing things. They will take a look at all issues as opportunities.

• Optimists have a totally different outlook on life 

They spot opportunity not danger, they visualize the best conceivable outcome not the worst. An optimist will arrange a barbeque for Sunday week knowing it is going to be a bright, warm sunny day. A pessimist will expect it to rain and not even bother to arrange it.

• Optimists are better at adapting to setbacks and hardships

At the point when confronted with an intense circumstance, hopeful people have a tendency to react with dynamic critical thinking, constructive consideration, and comical inclination. Worry warts, then again, have a tendency to react with sadness, refusal, and evasion. In the long run, this contrast in adapting style may imply that positive thinkers encounter less push than worrywarts, when confronted with the same life challenges.

Optimism is an essential part of accomplishment:

Optimism is an essential part of accomplishment, and is particularly important in times of disarray, change and turbulence. The individuals who are idealistic and optimistic towards life move on with a positive attitude and don’t surrender in extreme stressful or bad situation.

Being an optimist helps a person to achieve big things in life. Be positive and Live positive. Life is short. Live Laugh and be an Optimist.

Motivating yourself to become the best possible version you can be

The term best possible version of you comes across as pretty vague to say the least. How do you decide that what’s the best possible you? Or how do you know that you have achieved the best possible you and there is no way you can be better than your current state – you can’t!

The thing about successful individuals is that they are always TRYING to be the best. Yes! To be the best you have to keep on trying to be the best otherwise you aren’t the best. These people might not be the best at what they do but there are motivated individuals whose efforts are calculated, organized, planned, effective and efficient. The moment an individual starts thinking that they are the best; they are not, as the idea of being the best puts a ceiling above you goals, it restricts you from dreaming bigger which translates into you achieving lesser than your capacity and capability.

One can only dream bigger if he or she is motivated enough. Self motivation is something that can make you a king and on the other hand lack of it can make you a slave. So here are a few tips on keeping yourself motivated.

Set a goal: set yourself a goal and visualize yourself accomplishing that goal to the minute details. How would you react, how would you feel, even go as far as to answer how would you celebrate.

Importance of these goals: Ask yourself the necessity of the goals that you have set for yourself, as in this busy lifestyle it’s easy to distracted and lose track of the goals that you have set. Assessing the situation that has lead to this goal being set, Is it due to an inherent situation, like paying an elderly parents medical bills, or is it because you want a change in the way you want to live your life?

Breaking down the set goals into smaller more achievable objectives: This would help you plan how to achieve the desired goals by concentrating your energies onto achieving much smaller objectives in the short term which would lead to achieving bigger goals in the long term. It is also a great tool to stop you from getting de-motivated and giving up on the entire goal when just a mere small target is not met.

Have a contingency plan: It’s almost a 100% chance that there will be some hurdles on your way to achieving your goals and everything won’t go exactly to your desired plan. So it would be a good idea to draft out an alternate plan which would help you achieve the same goal but with a different approach. This is important as it is very easy to lose hope and get derailed when things aren’t going to the plan.

Rewards: This is by far one of the most important exercises to keep oneself motivated. It is human nature to be rewarded on the achievement of something significant. Rewards keep you motivated when the going gets thought by focusing all your attention to the end result and give you the inner strength to go through all the hardships into achieving an objective. It is also a good way of recognizing and acknowledging all the efforts that you have put into achieving the wanted goal.

How Technology Frames the Best Version of Yourself

Over the years, there’s been a lot of talk about finding your “best self.” It’s always spoken of as if the best you is out there somewhere, hiding in a different job or waiting around the corner for some life-changing experience.

But if you go through life searching here and there for your best self, you’re going to be disappointed. Let me let you in on a little secret: There isn’t any best self, and it’s certainly not out there waiting for you to find it. You’re you — right now, right where you’re sitting — and you already hold the perfection you seek. There’s no reason to go looking because you’re already here.

But while finding your best self is a concept that should join the square wheels of history’s outgrown ideas, activating the best version of yourself is a completely different story.

Reboot Your System to Start Fresh

Consider the operating system on your computer. There’s no such thing as the best one because new versions are always surfacing — it’s an evolutionary process. Each system goes through updates, fixes, and occasionally total reboots to work out viruses and bugs. With each fix and update, a better version is achieved.

Similarly, finding the best version of yourself is an ongoing procedure.

Like computers, people sometimes find themselves affected by behavioral viruses and other malfunctions. Maybe they were never given the proper input, their drives are over-functioning (think addiction), or they’re under-performing (think apathy). Whatever the case, recognizing which behavioral viruses have infected you is the first step toward “rebooting” yourself.

The reason your goal should be to reboot goes back to the idea that your best self is already present. You were born perfect, and to access your blueprints, you must tap into a moment or period in your life when you felt your best. Essentially, your aim is to find the source code for the best version of yourself, then boot yourself back to that point.

Zero In on Your Best Version

To discover the source code for your best version, you have to learn how to recognize it.

Think back on some of the best moments in your life. What was happening, and how did you know it was a great moment? Really take the time to consider this carefully.

Now, what do you notice about yourself in your best moments? Your first instinct might be to use vague descriptors, such as “I felt more confident” or “I was less shy,” but I want you to think about it in sensory and muscular terms. For example, “I felt a rush through my chest” or “I noticed that the whole world seemed clearer and brighter.”

That’s how memory works. As soon as you really dig into it, your entire system is brought online to help fully access the memory. This gives you a view of the structure of your best version. Maybe that means that your breathing slows or the tone of your voice drops — it’s the state that your body is in when you’re operating at your best.

It’s important to understand that this structure will be the same whenever you’re at your best. Once you realize this, all you need to do is tap into that state and make it a habit because that will drive your neurotransmitters, behaviors, and emotions to optimize.

The ‘Why’ and ‘How’ 

When you learn to stabilize the best version of yourself, you’re no longer a victim of the situation (e.g., the fact that it’s raining makes you sad, or since things don’t go exactly as you planned, you get depressed).

Yet, that’s how most people live — determining their internal states based on environmental conditions. That’s crazy, and you won’t operate at your peak performance until you realize that regardless of what’s going on around you, you’re still the same person under your skin.

You’re at your best version when you’re not running behavioral viruses. Therefore, you want to be virus-free all the time. When you are, your system is open, ready, and solution-seeking. But when you’re not, you’ll often be closed down and inhibited, focusing on your limits and how things aren’t going to work out.

You want a life that’s congruent from essence to action — one that supports you being at your best all the time, even when times are tough.

Use Technology to Build the Framework 

There are a number of methods that people have used to seek and establish the best versions of themselves — from therapy to church to yoga to mediation. Different methods have their varying benefits and drawbacks, but in the modern world, we’re finding a number of technological solutions that can help build a solid framework for the best versions of ourselves. Here are two examples:

• Functional Assessment: If you had unlimited funds or a buddy working in the imaging lab at MIT, I’d tell you to get an fMRI scan. But there’s an affordable alternative called a functional assessment. This measures the various networks in your brain and gives you a clearer picture of your thought processes. 

• Biohacking: There are a lot of new biohacking technologies being developed, such as wearables. The more we can harness this tech to quantify our behaviors, the better we’ll be able to track, hack, and update our norms and ideals.

The human brain is an incredibly complex system, and by using computer metaphors to relate it to our ever-developing tech options, we’re going to find that we’re increasingly capable of pinpointing and creating our ideal lives.

Think of it this way: For ages, we’ve used our brains to design, track, and manage everything — from individual issues to cultural viruses that continue to become increasingly complicated. If we’re going to handle all of this effectively while maintaining happy, fulfilling lives, we need to develop a system of managing ourselves from top to bottom. That means bolstering our already-vast capabilities with cutting-edge scientific models, the scientific attitude of truth, and the willingness to jettison outdated ideas.

The brain is powerful. Coupled with the power of technology, its possibilities are endless.

simile often!!!!!

Our facial expressions do more than communicate our current mood — they have the ability to influence our mood as well. Emotions may originate in the brain, but the muscles in the face either reinforce or transform those feelings. Recent studies have revealed that through the enhancement of positive emotions — or the suppression of negative ones — with facial expressions, a person’s mood begins to align more strongly with the emotion his or her face is communicating.

 

Even fake smiles do the trick.

While some researchers insist the benefits of smiling can only be rendered from a geniune expression of happiness, others have found that a forced smile can still make you feel happy, even when your existing mood and surroundings suggest otherwise. It only takes smiling for a brief period of time to experience its benefits — no matter how contrived it feels initially. In this case, maybe it’s OK to fake it a little.

Smiling helps reduce stress.

In a 2012 study published in the journal Psychological Science, University of Kansas psychological scientists Tara Kraft and Sarah Pressman studied 170 participants who were told to hold chopsticks in their mouths in three formations, making them smile to various degrees without realizing it, after performing a stressful task. The experiment revealed that subjects who smiled the biggest with the chopsticks experienced a substantial reduction in heart rate and quicker stress recovery compared to those whose expressions remained neutral.

Smiling makes you more approachable.

Smiling employees came across as more likable and friendly, and customers left the interactions feeling more satisfied about their overall experience. While job performance and the busyness of the venues were also factored into subsequent experiments, the researchers found that the added display of an authentic smile helped workers appear more competent as well.

A smile makes you seem more trustworthy.

From a psychological perspective, a person who is smiling appears more trustworthy than a person who is either frowning or holding a neutral expression. ISmiling actually retrains your brain for the better.

While the brain is naturally inclined to think in negative terms as a defense mechanism, the habitual act of smiling helps the mind move to a more positive space and remain there longer the more you do it. According to Shawn Achor, the author of The Happiness Advantage, by making smiling a part of our everyday practice, we help our brains create happiness loops that encourage more positive-thinking patterns.

“Happiness is a work ethic, It’s something that requires our brains to train just like an athlete has to train.”

Smiles are contagious.

when we perform a given action as well as when we witness someone else performing it. And when it comes to smiling, mirror neurons respond to the acts of both seeing and doing.

“The way mirror neurons likely let us understand others is by providing some kind of inner imitation of the actions of other people, which in turn leads us to ‘simulate’ the intentions and emotions associated with those actions,When I see you smiling, my mirror neurons for smiling fire up, too, initiating a cascade of neural activity that evokes the feeling we typically associate with a smile.”

Smiles may strengthen the body on a cellular level.

Just as this happy facial expression helps rid the body of stress, smiling can release tension on a cellular level as well, S

Smiling boosts your productivity.

The benefits of putting a grin on your face at the office don’t begin and end with a mood boost; that dose of happiness can help make you a more productive employee as well.

Smiling makes you more creative.

This same mood boost can get those creative juices flowing. The researchers connected this finding to the release of dopamine triggered by happiness.

Smiles are free!

This all-around mood booster is one of the few available to you each day at no cost whatsoever. So why not take advantage of your own power to create happiness?

smile often :-)

Did I offer peace today? Did I bring a smile to someone’s face? Did I say words of healing? Did I let go of my anger and resentment? Did I forgive? Did I love? These are the real questions. I must trust that the little bit of love that I sow now will bear many fruits, here in this world and the life to come.

Our facial expressions do more than communicate our current mood

WHY TO SMILE?????

Even fake smiles do the trick.

While some researchers insist the benefits of smiling can only be rendered from a geniune expression of happiness, others have found that a forced smile can still make you feel happy, even when your existing mood and surroundings suggest otherwise. It only takes smiling for a brief period of time to experience its benefits  no matter how contrived it feels initially. In this case, maybe it’s OK to fake it a little.

Smiling helps reduce stress.

A smile makes you seem more trustworthy.

Smiling actually retrains your brain for the better.

Smiles are contagious.

Smiles may strengthen the body on a cellular level.

Smiling boosts your productivity.

Smiling makes you more creative.

Smiles are free!

TO known how it real work follow my next blog coming soon………..

Sense of purpose

​

A sense of purpose is something that will inspire you to a greater level of achievement. It gives you increased motivation to achieve, fuels your confidence, and gives you the drive you need to take on and conquer any obstacles that fall in your path.

Sometimes I get the feeling I am destined to do something great. It’s hard to explain, but it’s as if I’m meant to do something before I die and I don’t know quite what that is yet. Most of the time, I shrug it off as my own ego. I’m not someone who really believes in fate. But there does seem to be something beneficial about having a sense of purpose. I’ve heard many people claim their key to success was their undying belief that they would make it. It’s as if they knew they would succeed no matter what.

A sense of purpose means having something in your life that is so meaningful to you that you don’t want to give it up. It’s something that without you might not be achieved or accomplished. So don’t give up. Make your purpose so strong that nothing and no one can move you from achieving your goal, not even your negative thought process including your fears.

Fight, for no one except Your Own Self. You owe yourself that much.

EMOTIONS

• Flowers are restful to look at. They have neither emotions nor conflicts.
• Every day we have plenty of opportunities to get angry, stressed or offended. But what you’re doing when you indulge these negative emotions is giving something outside yourself power over your happiness. You can choose to not let little things upset you.
• I just got one last thing, I urge all of you, all of you, to enjoy your life, the precious moments you have. To spend each day with some laughter and some thought, to get you’re emotions going.
• Take advantage of every opportunity to practice your communication skills so that when important occasions arise, you will have the gift, the style, the sharpness, the clarity, and the emotions to affect other people.
• The artist is a receptacle for emotions that come from all over the place: from the sky, from the earth, from a scrap of paper, from a passing shape, from a spider’s web.
• Negative emotions like loneliness, envy, and guilt have an important role to play in a happy life; they’re big, flashing signs that something needs to change.
• Your emotions are very unstable and should never be the foundation for direction in your life.
• My faith helps me overcome such negative emotions and find my equilibrium.